Schizotypal Forum

hey there i know thers others with this disorder but ive not had a clue what was wrong with me for most of my life im 30 now and having trouble with my job understanding bosses orders and my wife and kids have suffered from my uncontrollable mood swings among alot of other symptoms

Hi blueberry992, and welcome!

i got fired tonight cause i wasnt catching on fast enough its funny i had been at hardees for 3yrs and burger king a month they are so damn differant i couldnt keep the new rules and procedures straight and im in utter shock over this i also have a really hard time expressing my thoughts unless a family member slips me a xanax or a klonipan and even then im so mellow i just stare into space i went to see a therapist and when she said i had a pd and she couldnt do anything for me i was under the impression it was a bs diagnosis and now that i know its for real im looking for a new doctor im hoping will be able to help me i have been on welbuturin in the past i think it helped me but i was drinking at the time so i cant remember if it really helped i cant even stick up for myself or even come up with a good comeback until the panic/anxiety attack goes away hours from the time of confrontation i just freeze up and shut down inside its been like that as long as i can remember

Hi berry - glad you found us!

blueberry992 wrote:i got fired tonight

I'm really sorry to hear that, that sucks.

blueberry992 wrote: i went to see a therapist and when she said i had a pd and she couldnt do anything for me i was under the impression it was a bs diagnosis and now that i know its for real im looking for a new doctor im hoping will be able to help me

Don't let anyone tell you that personality disorders are untreatable. If you find the right therapist, you can get the help you need and be on your way to recovery. But finding the right therapist might be hard, and you might have to go through more than one...

Good luck to you, I hope your job situation gets better

oh im sorry i actually have well had 2 a part time job at a truck stop 2 days a week and the burger king cook job is the one i lost but my other job told me ill get more hours so im thinking ill be ok. im really into cars and i got to wash my daily driver "01 cavalier" and vacum it out today ohhh it felt darn good, see when i have a custom car and i keep my focus on either keeping it clean or customizing it i feel better about myself i call it "car therapy" i guess its in part to have attention ?? not really sure , but my wife wants me to get another show car built already lol this is the most ive told any one about my self in a long long time i always keep quiet when people tell their stories and keep mine to myself . okay heres an example i was with a freind the other day and we saw a guy sagging with baggy jeans and where im from i dress that way well my "freind" made fun of him and i tried to tell my "freind " that i dress that way too and he said no you dont ... and laughed at me i felt terrible inside its like i havent been able to be my self in a really long time i wonder what its going to take to feel whole again and thank you karla for your kind words

is it expected with pd to have such a terrible fear karma like every thing i think about trying im scared of the bad outcome i cant ever think of doing something with a thought of a positive ending im very sorry to lay my issues out there like that but im guessing thats what we are here for ?!?!?!?!

When they said, "You have a personality disorder and I can't help you." they probably made the biggest mistake a psychologist could make. Psychologists want to see to it that you stay in their office taking meds and going to your sessions because they financially benefit from that (assuming they don't actually care about you as a person). Personality disorders are difficult to curb/work with because they simply confuse the people and there are not ways of simply "curing" them. In other words, it's far from easy but still possible to manage, control, and allow you to socially function. Don't let anyone get you down about having the disorder. You have to seek out help yourself, something that is very difficult. It may take testing or additional therapeutic assistance, but honestly you have to stick it out. Keep your head up.

I can relate to cleaning and customizing cars as a great way to get away from it all. I also like to fix cars. I get a great felling of satisfaction when I'm finished and everything is working properly.

As for the terrible fear of everything ending horribly, that is more than likely paranoia. Paranoid thoughts seems to reign supreme with this personality disorder. Until I got a handle on them they kept me up at night, caused me to look like a mannequin from the GAP, made me believe the world was going to end soon, kept me away from others and other odd things. It will get better as you work through them.

thanks alot. i really am very excited to get well cause i have the fear that is parylizing and it consumes me yea i guess its paranoia since im always ready to have it come crashing down but i dont want it to control me the rest of my life. does anyone else go nuts if when your talking to someone and theyre not looking at you? i get annoyed cause if they dont look at me i think they arent listening at all or understanding me and i wonder where the line goes from normal feelings to the pd i cant tell the differance since i cant remember ever being "normal" you know ive actually been a litle better since i started telling people about my "issues" as my wife calls them now i just gotta get a therapist and illl be on the road to recovery thanks again for just listening lol i meant reading

has any one ever felt more lonely when around a bunch of people than when just with one other person thats how i feel alot of the time and i get so depressed cause these times i want to be with people but then when im with friends i am not sure why it feels worse I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!!!