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Greeting and Salutations!

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Greeting and Salutations!

Postby Infonautical » Sun Feb 19, 2017 7:54 pm

So it goes that several months into the past I was impregnated with the diagnoses of Scioztypal PD, Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder, and Conversion Disorder. I have attained the age of 18 and I aspire to become a mathematician. Since my childhood I've had a fascination with the supernatural. It has since evolved into an entirely idiosyncratic system of spirituality that has gotten me in trouble with the powers that be who do not tolerate different ideas like the ones I hold. Thus, I was coerced into initiating therapy and in due time I revealed the extant of my beliefs to the therapist and she proceeded to insult my beliefs and so I deflected it back to her and she said I was being offensive so I became obstinate and refused to initiate communication rituals with such an aggressive menace. I have 1 friend who is a drug addict and who I haven't spoken to in quite some time and there has been few intimate moments between us that were remarkably uncomfortable in the moment although the memories this brain holds of them are pleasant. I recently made contact with an old classmate who was sympathetic to me citing his future career as a therapist, thankfully he lives in another city. I currently live with my father and 2 roommates all of whom I attempt to avoid, although I will be leaving to go to university soon. I socialize mostly online and with thoughtforms I created to keep me company. There isn't much for me to say.
Life is truly quite absurd, but with a little effort we could make it completely ridiculous
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Re: Greeting and Salutations!

Postby Always_Question » Thu Feb 23, 2017 1:47 am

Hello and welcome!

I love mathematics as well, but sadly fell out of practice around the time I received this diagnosis. It is pretty cool to hear from someone else who enjoys the discipline too. I want to work my way back up to the level I was at when I finished college.

I'm sorry to hear about your experience with the therapist. I am afraid to say, I am familiar with bad therapists and psychiatrists. From my experience, around the USA, only about 50% of therapists and 20% of psychiatrists are acceptable to me (out of the 30 or so I have seen). Some are very unprofessional and do bizarre things.

I think many of us (myself very much included) have difficulties communicating in person, but have a somewhat easier time online. If you search around the forums you may find some other posts relatable. This place has helped me feel not so alone and also helped me understand this disorder a bit better. I hope you find it useful as well. Reach out if you like.

Welcome, again.
- AQ
If my post does not make sense, is too vague, or incoherent, ask for clarification if it would be helpful.

Dx's: Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizotypal PD, Boarderline traits, and Anxiety disorders
Rx: Gabapentin and Clonazepam.
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Location: Texas

Re: Greeting and Salutations!

Postby Infonautical » Thu Feb 23, 2017 3:03 am

I find myself also fighting the perils of a society that I am apart from. That is to say that the MH care system is lacking in my location. When I first found myself hospitalized the psychiatrist asked me why I had strings tied to my fingers and I had the impulse to tell him. The psychiatrist then forced me to remove the strings from my fingers. I told him I was a wiccan and I was doing a spell (half truth) and he still concluded I was in a state of "overt psychosis" and that was my first run in with a psychiatrist ever. But I digress, I could rant and rave forever about the faults of the MH care system. Hearing that you studied mathematics is a refresher. I many work with topology and I've been working on a project involving topological data analysis and it has been a huge learning curve for me. I have to teach myself programming which has proven difficult since I find myself easily distracted by things elsewhere on the Internet. At the same time I'm also reading like 20 books mostly about supernatural phenomena but such things are not meant to be discussed here and now lest this post becomes equal the cardinality of the continuum. What kind of math did you study while in university? Have you ever had anything close to a friend?

Thanks for your reply!
Life is truly quite absurd, but with a little effort we could make it completely ridiculous
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Re: Greeting and Salutations!

Postby Always_Question » Sat Feb 25, 2017 3:34 pm

You sound busy! I can be hard for me to stay focused.
I only completed a minor in mathematics, and went as far as modern geometry and advanced calculus (topology, chaos theory, some other stuff). I did one more advanced project in chaos theory related to the Lorenz attractor. I was strongly considering switching majors to math because I loved it so much, but the department I was in had more money and I was persuaded to stay by numerous scholarships. Academic competition was not very difficult in my department, so it was relatively easy to pretty much sweep all the high end ones.

Very unfortunately, I have forgotten much of my studies, aside from concepts, when I started to get very sick and more and more medications were piled on me. I am trying to get back into math, but I have lost so much, I am only starting at a pre-calculus level right now.

When I was younger, say, 14 or so (I am 30 now), I had a much easier time making friends. I do have a girlfriend, who seems close to me, but I feel very far from her sometimes. For reasons that are beyond me, she insists that she is still interested in me and would even go as far as to help me if my recent employment does not work out. Other than her, I do not consider other people, in person, my friends.

I do have a couple people I talk to online that I met here that I feel some connection to, though. Sort of a "like minds" kind of thing, I think. We don't understand entirely what the other is going through, but enough so that we can relate to the difficulties we experience in life due to this illness.
If my post does not make sense, is too vague, or incoherent, ask for clarification if it would be helpful.

Dx's: Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizotypal PD, Boarderline traits, and Anxiety disorders
Rx: Gabapentin and Clonazepam.
User avatar
Always_Question
 
Posts: 277
Joined: Thu Aug 01, 2013 9:14 am
Location: Texas


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