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Viscera and Bodily Illusions

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Viscera and Bodily Illusions

Postby Infonautical » Tue Mar 07, 2017 9:17 pm

Both ICD-10 and DSM-V recognize "bodily Illusions" as a symptom of StPD. It should be mentioned that I have a comorbid somatoform disorder called conversion disorder which affects my sight and mobility. For me the illusions usually manifest as feelings as though there is another being inside of me. I hold the belief that there is a parasitic twin who lives inside of me named Hiram and was implanted by evil spirits in an attempt on this body's life. Hiram and I have since become good friends when he manifested as a hallucinated voice. I have held the belief for quite sometime that I am being stalked by evil spirits who want to do strange things with my body like rearrange its organs. I sometimes feel my organs stretching or being moved. Recently I had the perception that my body was being torn and eaten alive, I closed my eyes when the ordeal began because I knew it was no sight for human eyes. I know these are unusual and are an expression of what I call "surreality" which is the union of consensus reality and the surreal (much like the magical realists of Latin American literature). Similarly I fantasize about mutilation and other bodily horrors yet oddly I feel like I control this body as though it were a marionette and have little connection to it. I'm sorry if this post seems... edgy I don't have an outlet to express such things since even MH professionals seem disturbed by these ideas and would likely end my hospitalization. What if any bodily illusions do you experience?
Life is truly quite absurd, but with a little effort we could make it completely ridiculous
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Re: Viscera and Bodily Illusions

Postby Always_Question » Fri Mar 10, 2017 3:29 pm

I think it's fine that you post things like this; sometimes these things can get pretty strange, uncomfortable, and terrifying, among other things. IMO it's better talked about than not, the sharing of information is important with this diagnosis, at least to me. There is so little information out there and experiences vary widely.

Anyway, I don't experience things quite that extreme. Sometimes my limbs feel extra long, to the point where I am not sure if I can control them properly. Recently, faces started to look funny, like they were pasted on peoples featureless heads. It's hard to describe, of course. I also feel like my organs are doing funny things. I have even gone to the ER a few times because I was convinced my organs were damaged and I was then feeling pain in them; nothing ever was remarkable about the scans they did. Kind of different, but I also feel extra tall sometimes (like 10 or 15 feet), and like I am floating around.

I haven't had bodily illusions happen for a while other than the faces thing. I tend not to remember these things well, sorry. If I am under severe stress and I don't sleep for a while things can get weird quickly for me though. I try not to let that happen.
If my post does not make sense, is too vague, or incoherent, ask for clarification if it would be helpful.

Dx's: Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizotypal PD, Boarderline traits, and Anxiety disorders
Rx: Gabapentin and Clonazepam.
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