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"Social anxiety that does not diminish with familiarity"

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"Social anxiety that does not diminish with familiarity"

Postby chimera » Tue Nov 29, 2016 12:19 am

From the DSM-V on schizotypal personality disorder diagnostic criteria;

9. Excessive social anxiety that does not diminish with familiarity and tends to be associated
with paranoid fears rather than negative judgments about self.


When I first read this description a while back, I thought it kinda fitted but I couldn't really remember any actual occasions where it was obvious, but today it became very obvious.

I've been attending a course in croquis this autumn, with sessions once a week since September. It's been a small group of people, so we've "gotten to know each other"; remembering names wasn't too hard, we know basic info about each other, recognize each others styles, etc. Today was the last session, and people were talking about next semester's course, some are going to attend that too. I've been thinking about doing that too, because the croquis has been very good for my eye-hand coordination and seeing how the body really works.
But then I realized, I never ever want to meet these people again. I've got almost nothing in common with them, and they know who I am. They know too much about me. They know what I look like when I'm unselfconscious, they know how I see the human body and face. I don't want to meet them anymore, because they're going to want to know more the more they see me, and they're going to know more and more even if I don't tell them anything, just by observing me. Some have even tried interacting with me already, even with physical contact, and I don't like it and want to hide from them. I am very uncomfortable with the whole situation.
(I should just hire a model of my own.)

It's sad, because I wish I could feel okay with people, like I belong to a group, without feeling paranoid about my position in it.



Thoughts, anecdotes, comments, are very welcome, I'm interested in hearing how this expresses itself in others.
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Re: "Social anxiety that does not diminish with familiarity"

Postby Always_Question » Tue Nov 29, 2016 7:59 pm

I can relate to this quite a bit.

I can feel alone in a crowd of people, interacting with shop attendants, and going about my day. But if I am doing so with my girlfriend, it is very different. I am much more uncomfortable. I become more self-aware, and so I say and do very little compared to if I were alone. I am much more approachable when I am alone, but I never want the person to know too much about me. I don't know the threshold, but when a person knows too much, I start to retreat and hide.

I get uncomfortable when others know too much about me when I don’t want them to, and I also don’t see the point in letting others get to know me since they are just going to leave anyway. When I meet with people who would call me their friend, I become detached. I play the role of a person I think is normal (especially with alcohol or substances to help me along), but I keep myself hidden so they don’t see more of me.

My ex-wife complained several times that she never really knew me (I don’t remember her specific words). She said she never really understood what I was thinking or how I felt. I don’t think I even know how I could have let her know me more, the relationship felt unsafe for me soon after we married, so I was guarded all the time. Divorce was a relief in that I get to be alone. But, the loss of that relationship, for some reason, continues to be very painful, even five years later. If I could go back, I would have never gotten romantically involved with anyone. It is, in my case, better to not have loved at all.
If my post does not make sense, is too vague, or incoherent, ask for clarification if it would be helpful.

Dx's: Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizotypal PD, Boarderline traits, and Anxiety disorders
Rx: Gabapentin and Clonazepam.
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Re: "Social anxiety that does not diminish with familiarity"

Postby falllynn14 » Fri Apr 07, 2017 11:09 pm

Same situation here with an ex after two and a half years divorced, however for the previous relationship and familiarity with people, I've been working with the same group of people for 13 years plus and wish more offer than not I could escape them, however the thought of new relationships I may end up stuck with people I feel even more paranoia and sudo dislike with
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Re: "Social anxiety that does not diminish with familiarity"

Postby Always_Question » Sun Apr 16, 2017 9:01 pm

I have cut off from people in the past that I have known for years. Some of them are family. I often feel sad for doing so, but don't know, and don't want to risk, restarting the relationship. I usually regret cutting off communication, even though when in the relationship I felt something like you describe. It's weird, isn't it.
If my post does not make sense, is too vague, or incoherent, ask for clarification if it would be helpful.

Dx's: Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizotypal PD, Boarderline traits, and Anxiety disorders
Rx: Gabapentin and Clonazepam.
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