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What is something that's been bothering you lately?

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What is something that's been bothering you lately?

Postby Rat » Wed Aug 13, 2014 11:56 am

I didn't see a thread like this, and I apologize if I missed it. Here everyone who feels like venting a little, can, as many times as you'd like too. It can be as minor or as major as you'd like it to be.

I will start. Someone I haven't talked to for years contacted me today. Not sure whether or not to reply.
And, bit by bit, he became less confident.
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Re: What is something that's been bothering you lately?

Postby Always_Question » Wed Aug 13, 2014 1:31 pm

Recently I tried to make a friend through a video game I enjoy playing. I have played it alone for years, and thought that it would be more fun if I had someone to play with.

But, after playing for only a short time online with someone, I felt uncomfortable, and continued feeling uncomfortable and quite anxious for the rest of the day even after I was alone again.

It makes me worry, if I struggle so much to interact with people over something as small as a video game, how can I ever do it in a work environment?
If my post does not make sense, is too vague, or incoherent, ask for clarification if it would be helpful.

Dx's: Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizotypal PD, Boarderline traits, and Anxiety disorders
Rx: Gabapentin and Clonazepam.
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Re: What is something that's been bothering you lately?

Postby Q‫‏‬ûqü » Thu Aug 14, 2014 5:49 am

I'm getting criticized more, for being me. I do things differently, or differently than what is expected. I am told, well if it hurts, do this. If you want this, then say this. The net result is that I clam up. I talk less. I don't make noises that I normally make, and that are comfortable to make. No, not burps and fraps. Humming or making "unusual" noises, clicks or " 'ee'ee'ee'ee'." Or whatever. My keypad doesn't have letters for the sounds I make. ꄬ ꁖ ꄃ
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Re: What is something that's been bothering you lately?

Postby Rat » Thu Aug 14, 2014 2:48 pm

Always_Question I relate to some of what you describe, I don't know if it'll help but for me it has helped to think of all interactions with people as temporary and see myself as having full control over when to stop associating with someone. When a person in your life seems permanent to me the anxiety worsened.

Q‫‏‬ûqü if the things you do are harmless I don't get why people would criticise you. I realize it's common but for what reason do people do this to others? I hope they will drop it.

As for myself; today going home from school I started shaking very intensely. I was very dizzy and I struggled a lot to get home. It's definitely the worst shaking attack I've ever had and it made me question myself. If I feel this way the second day of school, is continuing really a possibility?
And, bit by bit, he became less confident.
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Re: What is something that's been bothering you lately?

Postby MadCurio » Thu Aug 21, 2014 2:20 am

I'm bothered lately by the surreptitious feeling that each day is growing to be shorter and shorter. Lately each day feels like it lasts seconds. Each day, for me, is a little death. I feel like I lose the game repeatedly because the same existential questions continue to re-occur, even when I've formulated answers to them. If, by the end of the day, I feel unprepared for death, I feel I've failed.

Aside from *big* bothers - my smaller bothers include feeling like my life is a mess in general, feeling too demotivated to clean it up, wanting to throw everything I have away rather than trying to fix it, and feeling like I don't have enough social support. My network is too small, and though I may be schizotypal - we're all social creatures somewhere in our hearts (I believe).

Lastly, (who doesn't feel bothered by the lack of this?) money. I had to drop out last quarter due to having a mental breakdown, and now my school is making me pay back $5,000 back in fees - something I don't have. I've had to go through a lengthy appeal process, waited two months to find out the result of it, and then got back the result that it was denied. Now I get to go through a lengthier second appeal process, and have to go tell my sob story to the right people. Needless to say since I'm not a people person, this doesn't appeal at all. I've cried so much lately I don't know if I have any tears left.
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Re: What is something that's been bothering you lately?

Postby Sid » Fri Dec 19, 2014 9:53 pm

I have a friend that continues to be on and off in my life and it makes me sad. I don't know what to do. I have a friend every couple days.
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Re: What is something that's been bothering you lately?

Postby megzand3 » Mon Dec 22, 2014 10:33 am

I am triggered tonight…..trying desperately to come back to myself.
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Re: What is something that's been bothering you lately?

Postby Always_Question » Mon Dec 22, 2014 9:24 pm

megzand3 wrote:I am triggered tonight…..trying desperately to come back to myself.


Oh no :( Sometimes, for me, it can feel like a battle to maintain normal thought or to come back from odd thoughts. It was like that when I was in the car a couple days ago. I knew I had some weird thinking going on, but I could not shake it, and it was very troubling (In short, I thought the police were after me).

I hope you are away from the trigger now. Be safe.
If my post does not make sense, is too vague, or incoherent, ask for clarification if it would be helpful.

Dx's: Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizotypal PD, Boarderline traits, and Anxiety disorders
Rx: Gabapentin and Clonazepam.
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Re: What is something that's been bothering you lately?

Postby Sid » Wed Dec 24, 2014 7:24 pm

I am going to try to relate to this but I think this just makes me sound like an idiot. This is going to sound silly but the one time I had a trigger too. I went to Kmart and I was looking around and I smelled something and started crying and had to leave when I was asked what was wrong I didn't know. I had to go home because I was not calming down. This was two years ago.

What's something that is bothering me today? The normals in my life are crazier than I am. How do you love someone one minute and hate them the next? They cannot make up their minds. I am either accepted or I am not. Easy as that and they do not know from day to day if I am acceptable. It is confusing. Perhaps they like me when I give them what they want.

Side note: I love hummus! And I love Chai Tea! Makes my life so much happier! When life is not going your way eat bean dip and drink tea and be happier.
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Re: What is something that's been bothering you lately?

Postby Always_Question » Mon Mar 30, 2015 4:11 am

I realize that I have been down in the dumps for some time, and I am sorry if many of my posts consist of me complaining a lot.

But, I have been down, a lot. I have had thoughts of suicide in my head more often than usual in the last few weeks. I am feeling worthless, like all I do is consume resources and that I produce very little, even after many opportunities have been given to me (recent job attempt).

I am starting to feel hopeless again, like I would have little to lose in doing experimental drug trials in hopes that it might restore some of my capabilities I had before I became very sick. Or, that I would have little to lose doing my own drug experimentation at this point.

So, depression and boredom are bothering me. And nightmares from the Seroquel, which I am going to give the boot to again.
If my post does not make sense, is too vague, or incoherent, ask for clarification if it would be helpful.

Dx's: Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizotypal PD, Boarderline traits, and Anxiety disorders
Rx: Gabapentin and Clonazepam.
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Posts: 277
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