Schizotypal Disorder Resources & Support Forum

I have ideas of reference though music. I like music very much and most of time I believe the song is written about my life, past and future. I have certain songs when I am lisening to them I see visions witch are based according to melody or the lyrics. Usually when its becomes dark I put my Mp3 player on choose certain tracks according to mood. Other idea that certain people my read my thoughts and can see what I am doing using some hi-tech technology. I believe this idea comes from such movies as Being John Malkowitch and Trumans Show

storyofanartist wrote:

tandia wrote:I also think that on December 21, 2012, the world will dramatically change (you may want to google this date to find out more). I keep telling myself that I must mentally survive till this date. If this date comes and goes without any change… well…. I’m not sure what I’ll do.

I agree, Tandia. I have been anticipating that day and talking about it for over a year now, if something does happen, I think it will be big. I have thought of things that might happen, something like aliens/higher power coming, but I am leaning toward a government type event... or the end of the world, but also possibly a new era will begin.

December 21, 2012 is something that I frequently think about. There is so much information, and so many ANCIENT prophecies pointing to the same date. Aliens/Jesus/Time Travel/End of the World/Our magnetic field switching polarities are the ideas I've come to. Although one guy who apparently decoded something to do with the flow of time and said it ended in December 2012 before he found the Mayan Calendar said all of these could happen at once. His theory was everything that is possible can and will happen simultaneously on that date.

Oh, and as far as ideas of reference, I always see 11:11. I once saw it twice a day for 2 weeks straight. Someone once told me to wish on it, and the wishes came true at times, but the old adage be careful what you wish for seemed to fall into play here. So now I just notice it, and if I'm thinking of something interesting I take extra notice.

Well, for me they went from general ideas of refference (probably starting from early childhood as I have always had this personality) such as everyone expects something of me, everyone talks about me constantly, to things like i could effect world events by talking to a few people about it. When I was 10 or 11 and clinton was elected president and peoplle were saying things about him I imagined I could say something back and influence US politics somehow (even though I was too young to understand any of it) I became paranoid that both of my stepsisters wanted to share me in some strange polygemous marriage everytime they rewatched disney movies I thought it was a magic spell they were trying to cast on me. I became obsessed with the beach boys and a lot of their songs, once telling my 5th or 6th grade teacher that I thought the musicians were saying that she was in love with me (in a round about way but it was still embarrassing). Then I distracted myself for a bit playing guitar and painting and the paranoia and ideas of refference became me channeling spirits like Matisse or Jim Morrison. I was convinced at some point that something was pulling me physically toward people's houses and I would walk miles to visit them, knock on their door and basically say "did you call me?" and they would say no and I would leave. None of this seemed strange to me. I thought everybody thought this way. Eventually I ended up in a mental hospital (as you can tell it got worse and worse and worse allthough I think most of it stemmed from the fact I was becoming more and more aware of all my ideas and began stringing them together [i seperated them from the mundane ideas and called them "my work"] into some grand unified idea of refference. Eventually I believed that I was god or that the stories i was writing were various glimpses of peices of god that I had reconstructed into a big image. After this I could no longer deny that I was schizotypal. Now the ideas of refference are along the same lines and still come frequently but I try to see them as metaphores or parables of actual reality. It helps.

My ideas of reference mostly come around people. At work place I believe people notice my oddness and begin to talk about me and my work performance, my clothing etc. Sometimes it has been true.
Earlier I was almost certain some people will come and take me to jail, because they think I have done something bad. Nowadays I think my neighbours hate me. And also my old best friend. Actually I think most people hate me. They hate me when they see me in the bus stop, or market line. I am sure they look at me and think "what a horrible creature". In a clothing store I think the sales person thinks Im a thief and alarm guards though I have done nothing. In a bus I am afraid that people hear my breathing and think it is funny. When a mother has a baby in a stroller, I am almost certain that she will push my ankles, so I can't tolerate the idea of having any strollers behind my back. Same goes with shopping carts. I can't tolerate someone walk behind me either, because I think they look how stupid I look when walking and sometimes out of fear of attack.
Sometimes I see pictures in things and think them as signs, or some minor bad luck with my doings. Like if a coffee cup turns down in the morning I know my whole day is ruined. All that day I will be clumsy and nervous. Or if I see some certain shape of picture it might mean that I need to something certain things in order to avoid something bad from happening. I can't step on a crack on the street. If I don't get a kiss from my man before he goes to work I fear all day something bad will happen to him.

As a child I thougt a group of secret agents are spying on us and they have mini cameras in everywhere and some night when I sleep one of the come to kidnap me.
The list could go on and on..
I am worse than I thought.

Riganna

If I see a light go on I think it means something good, if I see one go off I think the opposite, I know it is silly. I will also try and write names jusing the back of shampoo bottles....try and find their name in all the other words, Or try and find certain phrases...using the letters from the other words..dont know if that makes sense to anyone...
I sometimes think, if good thing happen to me then someone close to me will suffer something bad.
I sometiems feel when I am upset or angry I have telekenetic powers, beyond my control. That things will break...
I wasnt really too sure what ideas of reference were...
If a door is open and slowly closing I have to see if I can get through it before it closes completly without touching it, but that last one is mostly for fun...

Paranoid people are talking about me and a rather unhealthy respect for the number five. At least I know it's dumb.

I always think that people are watching me and/or laughing at me when I walk around in public, which seems to be pretty common among schizotypals. Whenever someone says something that I was thinking (whether it be in person or on T.V.) I then think that the whole world was created for me and every last thing about me, including my thoughts, are being broadcasted to everyone around the world. I also seem to think that whenever someone asks me "What's up?" or something like that it's part of this big scheme among my friends to gather information on me. I knew since childhood that normal people don't get thoughts like this but I didn't dare tell anybody about it out of fear I would be taken to a mental institution. I can't think of any others that I have at the moment.

mysteryteacher wrote:If I see a light go on I think it means something good, if I see one go off I think the opposite, I know it is silly. I will also try and write names jusing the back of shampoo bottles....try and find their name in all the other words, Or try and find certain phrases...using the letters from the other words..dont know if that makes sense to anyone...
I sometimes think, if good thing happen to me then someone close to me will suffer something bad.
I sometiems feel when I am upset or angry I have telekenetic powers, beyond my control. That things will break...
I wasnt really too sure what ideas of reference were...
If a door is open and slowly closing I have to see if I can get through it before it closes completly without touching it, but that last one is mostly for fun...

My ideas of reference have been focused on times lately. Sometimes when I come up with something really unique I'll notice it is a certain time, or I'll get a phone call at one of these times.
I have been seeing times, one specific time will stick with me for a week or so, and I'll see it twice a day, or other places.
It's usually 9:11 11:11 12:12 12:21 3:11

But as far as the reason for quoting this, it seems like when I am "emotional" ie upset, elated etc. Light bulbs die. I seriously went through 25 light bulbs this year in my apartment for about 4 lights.

Although it may have been some sort of problem with the electrical system in that apartment, I'll find out when I move to a new apartment this fall.

That is strange, we go through so many lightbulbs here in the sitting room too. Have had an electrition check it out, this one is still hanging in there...

joke:
Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One; but the light bulb has to really want to change!

sorry had to share that...

Start using the Compact Fluorescent Bulbs (CFL's) I have found that they last a lot longer, and they help save the environment!
It's a win-win!