Schizotypal Forum

The best I can say is that though we may never really fit in the norm's world, some of this stuff about us we could probably fix you know. We're here, we are talking about it and we're being made aware of it. Most of the time this kind of stuff would probably just blow right over our heads and we don't give it a second thought, but we are thinking about it because here we are. How much about us could we change if we had really wanted to? It's our choice. We could sit and accept the norm's definition of the term and do nothing or we could try to step out. We can be friendly we can express goodwill. For many of us, it's probably hard as heck to overcome "stage-fright" always feeling like you are the center of attention just because you walked in a room and everybody starts acting differently because you are there. Dang I hate that. One way for us to feel comfortable is if norms would knock that crap off but they don't. Even in my own family I experience it. I said to my mother the other day, "why do we spend so much effort in trying to classify me as being this way?" She insists that I have Asperger's. I share in a lot of common things with Asperger's but I am more shizotypal than Asperger's. It's hard to tell mom that she over- obsessed with it. I asked her , why can't we just love me for being me? Why do we have to keep throwing this stuff in the way all the time? Most of the time I feel like I'm walking on eggshells when I'm around them. Always wondering what little thing I might do to set them off. I'm not trying to deliberately set them off. Sure I am isolated. I don't care for sports like the rest of the family. I'd rather go watch Star Trek or something. Sports in my town is just a bunch of losers anyway who never get it right. I can call the game before it gets played. I don't watch the games, but I know what's going on with it.
We are all at different levels of understanding in our world about what this diagnosis is or means to us. Some of us may be newly diagnosed or some of us could be old-timers with it. I am and old-timer with it. Maybe it's true with what they say with age comes wisdom, ah maybe but maybe not. I have managed to accept it. I want to use my own personal experiences to try to help you guys out and I hope that you could do the same for me, we build off each other. I'm no shrink, but I am a vocal person who will stand up when needed. I had worked really hard to beat being shy and it was a very conscious effort but I did it. I think this place here on this board is going to be beneficial for us.

I dont have any friends as well and the same as Agony, I think i upset people because i cant hold conversations and it upsets me, when i did have a friend she would talk and talk to me and i gave one word answers, She got fed up with me and we fell out a long time ago. I always have strange thoughts when people are speaking to me, I can only be myself online when im typing. Ive never had a close friend, there is people i can have a few words with but i never full sentances to say.

Ninja, we sound like two of a kind in that respect. I continue to infuriate people with my style of speech and various social behavioral patterns that are no only ridiculed but looked down upon. I truly think I have no true friends and a few acquaintances who I rarely interact with. I also think that everyone is different, so if some people labeled (let's face it that's what it really is) as schizotypal are able to have plenty of friends and sustain romantic relationships with people. Sure, it's difficult for many reasons, but it's still pretty impressive from my standpoint.

Friends, without them vary sad ... with them more hardd,.... after meet friends more sad..... but i know that i should go meet with them.... go and try to be fun, .... i just says to my self, its good to go , like exercice for me, or diet.. ........ but still anxious, and flat talk ....still wall beetwetn me and others, i like to belive that tah wall will be small and even it will be disapear, i hope , i courage
have to meet a friends people ,... i thing only that keeps my friends close to me.

I spent last night at a club, with a bunch of people and had a good time. I go out of my way for friends. I drove 125 miles to go be with people of whom I consider to be my friends. I don't smoke, I don't drink or even cuss, but it meant a lot ot me to be able to go there and be with them. Sure I feel like a social outcast. People say I don't get out much and then when I do finally get out they think it's even weirder still because it's so out of character for me. Even in pictures I look out of place. I can hold conversations with people but nobody ever wants to talk to me. Sometimes I tend to "over talk" I don't realize I'm doing it until my listener just drops off and loses interest. A girl I like very much told me that I "geek out" on Star Trek and i said yeah I might do that, but that's just me being me. I don't let that go. I have laways loved Star Trek, I always will and so much of my interests lie in the science more than the fiction. I would rather watch that than sports. If norms don't like me watching Star Trek they can just go stick it because I will benefit more out of watching that show than I will these losers called the Redskins.
I feel like a bull in a china closet a lot and no matter what I do I'm not going to win for losing. I keep trying though. I figure eventually I might hit it and do something cool. I go to singles events. I have even helped to plan events. I can't dance for squat but I like to do it. I want to try to do something because nothing is not good enough. Even the norms don't understand women or know what they want I think that's pretty universal but to just sit there and do nothing when something can be done, I'm sorry I'm having troubles with that. I got 2 legs they work and I can get up off of my duff and go out and meet people. I smile a lot and I at least pretend to be interested in hopes that maybe I could be. I role play things out in my head a lot. sometimes my perceptions are way off. It helps me to understand the differences.